Tell Me You Love Me Read online

  Dammit. She’s just mean.

  “Sorry, Mom. There’s nothing really to spill.” I hold up my hands, palms to the ceiling like, what can I say? “Justin introduced me to a group of neighborhood women yesterday, but that’s it. I only talked to one of them really, but nothing to write home about.”

  A chuckle rumbles up from my stomach when I think about the exchange between Lizzy and me.

  “Well, was she cute?” she asks.

  “Adorable,” I blurt out before I have the sense to take it back.

  “Adorable?”

  Fuck it. “She was beautiful, actually. Cute too. Adorably cute and beautiful with a potty mouth like yours,” I say, pointing at her with that last bit.

  “Ha ha,” she says with a laugh. “What did she say?”

  My mom is definitely amused. She pushes her plate to the side and leans forward with her elbows on the table, waiting for me to tell her more.

  To start off with, I explain how the ladies have a book club. My mom eats this up right away. She loves to read. Then, I mention the unspoken agreement that the guys have with these women. She finds the whole thing wildly amusing, so much so that she rubs her hands together like she’s up to no good. My mom’s a fucking hoot, I tell you.

  “Yeah, so the guys are talking shit like usual, but Lizzy doesn’t back down. She dishes it right back when one of the guys starts making dick jokes. And then, you know me...I can’t keep my mouth shut, so I’m standing off to the side snickering.” I laugh just thinking about it.

  “And?”

  “And she called me out.” I never expected her to speak to me, much less ask me that question. She caught me completely off guard and I loved it. I loved how she handled the guys and how much see seemed to just be herself.

  “She asked if I’d rather her talk about my cock instead.” I can’t believe I just said cock in front of my mother.

  “She actually used the word cock?” Fuck me, I can’t believe my mom just said cock.

  “Yes, Mom. She did. You don’t have to repeat it.” My fucking ears are burning.

  “I like a woman who isn’t afraid to say C and P.”

  She’s gone mad. “What the hell is C and P?”

  She rolls her eyes at me, like I’m some kind of dumbass who should know what that means. “Cock and pussy, my dear.”

  Thank God, I had already swallowed my gulp of juice or it would have been sprayed all over the kitchen. This woman is too damn much.

  “Well, Mom, I don’t know if she says P, but she definitely has the C mastered.”

  “Oh, I bet you’d like to find out.” Her brows flutter up and down.

  My jaw drops at my mother’s statement. She’s serious as can be for a moment before she starts laughing.

  “Oh, honey. I wish you could see your face right now.”

  I don’t need to. I can fucking imagine the horrified expression. I should know better. My mom doesn’t have a shy bone in her body. And she doesn’t have a filter, either.

  “Okay, okay. I’ll leave you alone, Ryan.” She stands up, still chuckling, and starts collecting our plates. “But this girl sounds like someone you might like to get to know better. She sounds like fun. And everyone could use a little fun in their lives.”

  Fun, huh. Mom doesn’t have to tell me twice. Fun sounds perfect.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Lizzy

  Workout DVDs. That’s what my husband “surprised” me with today.

  Jace: Hey, got a surprise for you. Can’t wait to get home.

  That’s the text he sent me before leaving the office. I should have known better than to think it could be something romantic. Like a bouquet of flowers. A night out for dinner. Hell, it was Valentine’s Day a week ago and he got me jack shit. Not a simple card saying he was thinking of me. Not even a “fuck you.”

  No. Not this man. He bought me a set of fucking Turbo Jam DVDs. You would think the pack of Hip Hop Abs that have been collecting dust in our entertainment center would’ve been a clue.

  When is he going to get it? The more he pushes me, the more I don’t want to do a damn thing.

  I’m so tired of his crap I could just scream. I throw myself on my bed and push my face into my pillow. I let out a wail, one that is muffled by down feathers and a cheap, paper-thin Target pillowcase.

  “What the hell, Liz?”

  My cry comes to a sudden stop. Slowly, I shift my head to the side uncovering my eyes little by little until I can finally see him.

  “Why did you take off on me? One minute I’m showing you the gift I bought you, the next you’re running up the stairs. What the hell are you doing?”

  I let out a silent groan. Damn him. He thinks the videos are a gift. A present. Something I should be thrilled and thankful for. I’d rather get my hoo-ha waxed.

  “I thought I’d get warmed up.” I don’t know what possesses me to lie. “I just need to change so I can try them out. I hear they’re fun workouts with great music.” That’s true, at least. Rachel uses them every day and loves them. I probably would too if he wasn’t trying to force them on me.

  He smiles. “Good. It says you can lose ten pounds in two weeks. That’s like a whole size, right?”

  I guess he’s done his research. “That would be cool.” I hoist myself up, roll off my bed, and pull open a drawer to my dresser. I’m really doing this and I want to kick my own ass for not telling Jace where he can shove his damn DVDs.

  “Yeah, it would be. I have a really important dinner party scheduled in a few months. I’m sure you’d like to go shopping for a smaller dress size.”

  “Actually, Jace.” I put up my hand to stop him, but think better of it. I lower my hand and ball it into a fist at my side. It’s no use. He’ll never accept me the way I am. “Yeah, honey. It would be great.”

  As much as I hate myself for doing it, I yank out a hot pink tank and a pair of gray, cropped yoga pants. I steal a glance at Jace and the smug satisfied look on his face is enough to make my nostrils flare.

  “You’re really going to try them out now?” he asks, not even trying to hold back his surprise. Condescending asshat.

  Just as I pull my shirt over my head, revealing my bare skin, I notice him wince. My plump belly makes my own husband sneer in disgust. Tears begin to sting my eyes while I busy myself with changing my clothes, so I can try to forget how my body makes the man who is supposed to love and cherish me for the rest of our lives cringe.

  “I told you I would.” I still can’t look at him.

  He leans over me as I put my shoes on and kisses the top of my head. “Thanks, babe.”

  Wow. I’ve pleased him for once. All it takes is a little exercise to make him happy.

  Too bad it makes me want to lie back down and eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Therapy. Now that would be a gift.

  * * *

  “Are you starving yourself again?” Molly demands an answer with her brows pulled tight into the center of her forehead. She’s scary when she gets angry.

  “What are you talking about?” Believe me, I’m eating. I slap my hand to my flabby ass. “Does it look like this beast isn’t being fed?”

  The other girls chuckle.

  “Well, you’ve definitely dropped a few pounds in the last week. I hope you’re not trying one of those fad diets.” She narrows her eyes at me this time.

  “Yeah, especially that one where you take the fat blocker pills,” Rachel says, shaking her head. “One: they don’t work. Two: they’re gross. And, three: pills aren’t necessary to lose weight.”

  “Oh, no. Molly and I tried that last year. Remember? I swear I shit a lava lamp. All I needed was a black light in my bathroom and it would have looked like the seventies in my toilet. That was bad.” The flashback causes my body to shiver; it was so gross. Apparently, I ate too many grams of fat. The damn pills did their job and blocked the excess from attaching itself to my hips thus expelling it from my body in the form of a disgusting orange oily substance. That’s wha
t the pamphlet called it anyway. Again... Gross.

  Molly starts laughing. “Yeah, you called me while you were sitting on the pot and told me to abort the mission and throw the tablets away.”

  “Abort! Abort!” I yell, reenacting that phone call.

  Rose squishes her nose at where this conversation is going. “You ladies are sick. I could do without the B.M. talk.”

  “Fine,” Molly says with a soft laugh. “Back to Liz. What’s the deal?”

  My eyes roll back in my head as I take my place on the bench next to Rose. “Well, I’m not starving myself. In fact, I’m eating a lot.” The sound of a deep voice close by brings the conversation to a stop. “The guys are coming so I don’t want to talk about it now, but I’m just exercising. I’ve lost a few pounds. Nothing big. That’s how it always is when you start something new.”

  “Speaking of starting something new, what did you think of Annie?” Rose asks. “Tell me quick before they get here.”

  “I thought I had bad luck when it comes to guys,” I tell my friends. Poor Annie from Love in All the Wrong Places. The girl couldn’t catch a break. One bastard after another. The girl was destined to be alone.

  “All I know is I wanted to throw my Kindle when it ended in a cliffhanger,” Rachel adds. “One: who does that? Just ends the book without warning. Two: how is it a romance without a happily ever after? And, three: did I mention I wanted to throw my Kindle?”

  Uh oh. There goes Rachel with her lists again.

  “And, four: she better end up with Casey,” Rose says, “or I’m going to find that Audrey Harte and kick her ass.”

  “Wow, we all know it’s a good book when Rose starts cursing.” Molly causes a bout of laughter from each of us and the guys come into view. “Cliffhanger or not, that chick can write. She had us all turning the pages.”

  “Ladies, ladies, ladies,” Jesse calls out. “It’s hotter than Christina Aguilera’s tits falling out of her top on The Voice. I didn’t expect to see you out here today.”

  Christina’s boobs? Nice metaphor. He kills me sometimes. If this is his sad attempt at making a joke in front of Rose, I doubt it will work.

  Or maybe it will. Rose is all smiles. Just a minute ago she didn’t want to hear poopy talk, but she’s okay with cleavage apparently.

  “Do you really think we’d let you down?” Rachel asks, pulling some waters out of the cooler. She tosses them to each of the guys.

  “Hey, girls,” Justin says. He drops his gear and takes his usual seat next to Molly.

  I mumble a hello while I glance down the hill. The new guy didn’t come this time. Instantly, I’m disappointed. I had been looking forward to seeing him again. His sexy grin and lingering stare. I swear that guy made me feel special with his subtle gaze in my direction after I met him. I would have never expected him to look back at me, for our eyes to meet. For my eyes to tell him I wanted him to undress me and have his way with me right there.

  “Liz,” Jesse calls out, snapping me from my thoughts.

  “Huh?” I shake my head clear and ask, “What’s up?”

  “Where did you go, girl?” Molly pours some water on her hands and flicks the liquid in my direction, cooling me off and waking me up.

  It’s going to take a lot more than a squirt of cool water to chill my hormones. A dip in a tub full of ice cubes might not even do the trick.

  “I’m right here. Just lost in thought, I guess.” What the hell can I say? I’m sorry. I was just thinking about the gorgeous new firefighter and the one hundred ways I’d like to violate his hard body.

  “Thinking about me again, aren’t you?” Jesse winks at me, raising his arm with a flexed muscle and clenched fist to show me his guns. The man does have some studly arms. I’ll give him that.

  “You wish,” I brush him off. “Where’s the Boss?” I ask, trying to keep myself from asking for the new guy. I’m married for fuck’s sake. I shouldn’t be all hot and bothered for another man. No matter how smokin’ he is and no matter how he looks at me. It’s not like I’d really cheat on Jace. No matter how hard it gets with him sometimes, I could never do that. I might ogle Ryan, fantasize about him even, but being with him isn’t an option.

  “They’re coming,” Justin responds as the sound of more boots comes clopping up the hill.

  My belly does a little dance in response.

  It’s not lost on me that he said they. As in plural. As in Owen will soon be making an appearance with someone else. It could be anyone really. It doesn’t have to be Ryan.

  Oh, but it is.

  They’re in full gear today and if I thought the gray T-shirt hugging his sculpted chest was steamy, the entire firemen uniform has me wanting to light myself on fire so he can throw his body over mine and roll me around to put it out. Or just roll me around. Either would be fine by me.

  “Hey, Lizzy.” A hint of playfulness shows in Ryan’s eyes as he appraises me with a slight rise of his brow. His delicious lips curve into a smile.

  Lizzy? I love it. “Hi, Ryan.” I try looking away, but he draws me back in. The others have started in on their own conversations after saying hello to the latecomers. Ryan’s attention comes back to me. “What took you guys so long? Is the hill too much for you?”

  He removes a small towel from his pocket and drags it across his face, then his neck. His skin is bronzed from the sun and damp with sweat. “Nah. We got a late start.” He takes a swig of the cold water Rachel passed him, his eyes never leaving mine. “Were you waiting for me?”

  Laughter blurts out of my mouth. I hold my hand to my chest. “Me?” I wave him off. “No.” This time I shake my head at the absurdity of his question. As if. Right?

  Well, hell yes...I was waiting for him. Seeking him out. Ever since I heard he moved into the neighborhood, I’ve been on the lookout at the grocery store, Starbucks. Hell, I even did a few double takes at Target the last time I was there. To say that I’ve been anxious to see him would be an understatement. My eyes were pasted to the clearing wondering if I’d spot the top of his head climbing up the hill. But...he doesn’t need to know that.

  “Hey,” Justin calls, “time to roll. Ladies,” he bows, “always a pleasure. Thank you for keeping us hydrated.”

  “And thank you, gentlemen, for keeping us safe from fire hazards and full of fantasies.” Molly is something else, I tell you, but I couldn’t have said it better myself.

  The men bid their farewells to each of us. As they march away, Ryan peeks back over his broad shoulder. Something tells me he just wants to see if I’m watching him again.

  And, of course, I am.

  Bad Lizzy. Bad. Bad. Bad.

  You. Cannot. Look. At. Him.

  Even though it’s a lot more enjoyable when I do.

  The view is better than any Ansel Adams photograph.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Ryan

  “Hey.” I’ve been following behind my redheaded beauty for a while and I’ve finally caught up to her. She doesn’t answer. “Hey,” I shout again as I get closer. Still, no answer. A white cord drapes down her neck on both sides. I can’t believe I didn’t notice it before. She’s wearing an iPod on her arm. She can’t hear me.

  But I can hear her. The closer I get the more I can hear her faint voice singing along to her music. I slow my pace so I can listen in. She’s awful. God awful. She won’t be winning a contract on the next reality singing show any time soon.

  I can’t quite make out the tune, but she’s singing something about being a redneck woman. Laughter creeps up on me when I realize she is singing Gretchen Wilson. She clearly doesn’t know she is loud enough to be heard. Or maybe she doesn’t know how terribly she sings, as then she would not be subjecting the wildlife to her tone-deaf melodies.

  The crazy thing is...I kind of like it. It’s cute. She bops her head along as she carries the tune. I wish I could see her face. I bet her brows are furrowed and her nose is...

  “Yeehaw!” she yelps, jabbing her fist in the air.

>   Whoa. She really gets into it.

  I can’t help it. My head falls back as a roar of laughter rises in my belly.

  She whips around with an irritated look in her eyes. Her brows are pulled together into a frown, but her expression softens when I smile.

  “Hey.” Lizzy’s cheeks blush and her gaze drops to the ground.

  It only takes a few steps to close the distance between us now that she’s stopped. “Mind if I join you?”

  “Depends,” she says, a small hand on her hip.

  “On what?” I ask.

  “On how long you’ve been following behind me listening in as if I’m giving a free concert.” She smiles, all the way from her pouty lips to her sexy green eyes.

  “Just long enough for me to name that tune.” It’s fun teasing her.

  “If you can guess the song, you can join me.” She holds up her hand looking at her invisible watch. Of course, I give her the correct answer.

  She waves me forward. “Fine. Come on. Maybe you can push me to make it the rest of the way up this god-forsaken hill.”

  I can’t help but chuckle. There is a sweet glow of perspiration highlighting her skin. Tiny beads of sweat dust her upper lip. She’s hot. Makes me wonder what she’d look like all hot and bothered, and not because of this wicked weather. About a half mile back, I had to pour what was left of my bottle of water over my head because watching her ass sway back and forth was getting me hard. Not the most comfortable way to climb the hill, not to mention a little bit creepy for a firefighter to be walking around the neighborhood with a boner.

  “So what brings you out of the house? It’s not a training day.” She pulls me from my thoughts. She’s right. It’s been a few weeks since the last book club meeting, or training day. But it’s not like I’ve been counting the days since I last saw her.

  “I try to run every morning. We had a long call earlier and it kept me from my routine. This is the first opportunity I’ve had to get out after my shift was over.”